lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
