I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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