soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize