I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
