I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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