Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
