Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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