My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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