no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
