I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize