no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
