brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
