Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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