she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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