yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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