I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
