my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
