also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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