At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
