I heard we made out
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
