there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
