so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
