you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize