...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
