dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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