naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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