I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
