I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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