Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
