you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
