HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Two words: blizzard sex
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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