Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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