R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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