i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
