That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
