also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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