tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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