i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
