party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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