Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
