Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize