I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize