R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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