yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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