I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
