just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You pole danced in your parka.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
