John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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