In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
