tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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