Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize