Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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