i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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