All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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