Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
