My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My dad just said "fuck circus"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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