You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
