I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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