I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
