Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
