he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
