Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
