big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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