Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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